Employee nervous to tell boss about new job

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need to tell my boss that I’ll be quitting next week, since I believe a reference request will be in her email inbox by EOD. I want to be considered for a position in a different company. I’ve already talked to the manager about it, and the company wants me. They just want to hear from my boss about my work ethic and capabilities. I work with a tiny, close-knit team — just 5 of us — and we all get along well. My boss has spent a significant amount of time training me and assisting me in developing me for the job; therefore, I feel bad about informing her that I would be departing. At the same time, I need to go for this opportunity, as I feel it’s a much better fit for me and my goals. How should I break it to her? — Taking the Next Step

DEAR TAKING THE NEXT STEP: Immediately tell your boss that you need to talk to her. Then let her know what’s going on. Thank her for all the support that she has given to you. Make it clear that you are grateful and that she has helped you grow. Explain that this new opportunity is in alignment with your longterm goals, so you believe you should go for it. Apologize for any inconvenience that your departure may cause. Emphasize how much you care about her and your co-workers and that your intention is not to make it hard on them as you pursue your goals. Ask her to respond to the reference request that she will be receiving, and directly ask her to give you a favorable review. Remind her of key highlights that showcase your work so that they are top of mind for her. Be pos- itive.

I always say that endings are more important than beginnings. Be sure to leave this job being professional, kind and positive. That is the impression you want your boss to have of you even though you are leaving.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve caught my co-worker snooping on my social media profiles a few different times, but she never says anything to me. She’s never introduced herself to me at work or even followed or friended me on social media; she just snoops. I can’t imagine what this strange behavior is about. Should I say something to her? I feel like she’s being a little malicious or sneaky or something. — Say Hello

DEAR SAY HELLO:

Here’s your chance to be proactive. You have a couple of options. You can choose posts of hers to like or comment on so that she is clear that you know she is watching you — and you, in turn, are watching her.

If you are back in the office, you can walk around to her desk and chat her up. Tell her you have noticed her checking out your social media, and you figured it would be even better to get to know each other in person. If you are still virtual only, reach out electronically and suggest a virtual coffee where you get to know each other.

Beyond that, know that whatever you post on social media is public information. This woman may just be trying to get a sense of who you are. Trust that she probably isn’t the only person who is doing that. Post only what you feel comfortable having others see.