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Dear Harriette by Harriette Cole
DEAR HARRIETTE: I took a job as an assistant to a celebrity hairstylist a few months ago. Sometimes, when he is late to an appointment or has to leave early unexpectedly, I will start or finish the job myself. Despite this, when he posts the clients’ pictures to his (very popular) Instagram page, he never credits me for helping him. The credit alone would be enough to help me secure my own clients. I don’t know how to approach him about crediting me without making things awkward. I don’t want to lose this job, but I need the exposure to venture out on my own someday. How do I ask him for credit? — Tag Me in the Pictures
DEAR TAG ME IN THE PICTURES: Sorry, but what you are asking is just not how it works. My background is in editorial and fashion. Typically, credit is given to the principal stylists on any given job. The support team is valued and gets paid, but it is not required that the styling assistants receive credit for the work. Of course, some stylists are more generous than others with credit. But it is not common practice.
What you must do is hone your skills, do the best job possible, learn the craft and respectfully build relationships. You have been there only for a short time. Develop a relationship with your stylist. Learn from him. Tell him how much you appreciate working for him at this time. You should also look for freelance opportunities to work with models and others, independent of your boss. Start your own social media page, and post your styles there. Build your own presence. Pay attention. If the time comes when you can post a photo with your boss or at one of his shoots to show that you are part of that world, do so. But be sure to get his permission first.
Things were going pretty well with my boyfriend up until a few nights ago. I found out that he got into a physical altercation with the new boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend. He confronted the man at a party and ended up sustaining a few injuries after the fight. This is a huge red flag to me. Why was he confronting this man unless he has unresolved feelings for his ex-girlfriend?
I’m feeling very conflicted now because I have no interest in staying with someone who might still be in love with his ex. Would breaking up with him over this be too hasty of a decision? We haven’t really had a discussion about this. — Huge Red Flag
DEAR HUGE RED FLAG:
You are right to be extremely concerned about this fight. Sit down with your boyfriend and ask him to explain what triggered the fight. Listen carefully. Ask him if he has unresolved feelings for his ex. Ask him to tell you if he has gotten into fights before. You need to get to know him to determine if he has a temperament that you can live with. Be careful not to back him in a corner as you talk to him. But let him know you are extremely concerned.
If he refuses to talk about the incident, consider that a red flag. If enough signs feel uncomfortable or suspicious, end the relationship. You have to trust your gut and also protect yourself. Do not anger him to the point that he might lash out at you. Just call things as you see them, and let him know how you want to proceed. Get backup from friends and loved ones if needed.