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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 40-year-old single father, and I can’t seem to find a date. I’m very active on social media and reach out to women all the time, but they’re either immature and materialistic or don’t seem to be that into me. I live a simple life with my son (when he’s not with his mother) and dog. I feel like the only thing missing is a nice lady friend. What can I do to get better results with women? — Ladyless at 40
DEAR LADYLESS AT 40: A huge challenge right now is that many people are still nervous about getting out and about due to COVID-19. It’s too bad because that is what you need to do. Meeting people on social media is fine, but it is not the same thing as meeting face-to-face. You need to get out there — safely — and go to events and activities that intrigue you. Put yourself out there so that you can have the opportunity to meet a woman who shares your interests. It is fine to take your son and your dog to some of these outings. A walk in the park is great for exercise and potentially meeting people, for example. Keep your eyes open and be ready to speak up when you see someone who looks interesting.
On the internet, be sure to be specific with your profile. Say what you care about, and describe your life accurately. Do not embellish. You are at an age that can be perfect for finding a partner and settling down. Describe the simple life you want to invite a woman to share with you, and know that it will take time to sort through your options to find “the one.”
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a huge fight with my husband. He says he just pushed me and I fell, but I ended up with a blowout fracture to my right eye. I was passed out for a moment, so I don’t really remember exactly what happened. I did start the argument because I found out he was cheating on me and I tried to stop him from leaving while we were arguing, but I know I shouldn’t have ended up in the hospital. We have a family, so I’m not leaving. How do I control my anger if I ever get mad at him again? — Anger Management
DEAR ANGER MANAGEMENT: Why aren’t you leaving? You say he cheated on you. You argued and the next thing you know, you are in the hospital. What other red flags do you need before it is time to go?
I get that it is scary to go out on your own, especially when you have children. But you are unsafe right now. And it is not your fault. Sure, you may need to figure out how to handle your emotions. But what about your husband?
Your next step needs to be to get professional counseling. Go to a therapist who will help you sort through your feelings and help you assess what’s been happening in your life and marriage. It is time for you to review your situation and notice other times when you have not felt safe. Has your husband ever struck you before? Has anyone else physically hurt you? How have you reacted? What do you want for your life? What will it take for you to get what you want and need? Do the work to analyze what your life is asking of you. Then take action.