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DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend recently started taking Adderall to treat her ADHD. I’m very concerned for her. In the first month of her taking the medication, her weight has dropped drastically, and she is frequently agitated. When she told me about the medication, she didn’t tell me all of the details. It wasn’t until I did my own research that I found out how serious the side effects can be. She is thrilled with how her focus has improved, but I fear she will become addicted to a drug that is having obvious adverse effects on her physical and mental health. How can I help her before this goes too far? I should mention that she got this prescription somehow without her mom knowing. Should I say something to her mom? I think she may hate me if I do. — Going Too Far
DEAR GOING TOO FAR: If you are truly worried about your friend’s health, this may be a time to bring in her mom. You are right, though. You could lose your friendship if your friend finds out that you were the whistleblower.
Here’s the thing — I was taught years ago that sometimes you have to stand in harm’s way in order to do the right thing. In other words, sometimes you have to speak up even if there could be a negative impact on you. If you feel you have said everything you can to your friend and she won’t listen, then go to her mom and express your concerns. You can ask her mom to keep you out of it, but there is a chance your friend will find out. Just remember that by speaking up, you could be saving your friend’s life.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend told me that he is feeling a little bored in our relationship. He said that he is not bored of me specifically, but he is bored of what our relationship consists of. My first thought was that we need to break up. I suggested it to him, and he declined. I don’t want to break up either, but how else should I handle his feelings of boredom? — Boyfriend Is Bored
DEAR BOYFRIEND IS BORED: Rather than immediately thinking your relationship is over, think about what the two of you can do to spice things up. Examine one week in your life. What do you do together? Track each day to get a sense of how you spend your time. What might you add or change to infuse a bit of interest or excitement? If you have been together for a while, chances are, you have fallen into certain patterns of behavior. What if you decide to add a surprise activity for just the two of you or with friends once a week or even once a month? Talk to him about it and come up with ideas together. This should not fall on either one of you solely. It can be fun to create new experiences together.