It’s not too late to reach out to friend’s dad
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DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. A friend of mine asked me to talk to her dad about a project he is working on. I agreed right away, but then I got distracted. First, I got sick with whatever bug is making its rounds. Then I got so busy playing catch-up at work that I totally forgot. I remembered the other day, but then I felt like such a loser that I didn’t reach out. It just felt like it was too late. But that’s no way to handle things. I don’t mean to be a disappointment, especially to my friend’s dad. What can I say or do to make it up to him? — Not a Flake
DEAR NOT A FLAKE: Now that you have remembered, reach out at once to your friend. Tell her the truth. Start by letting her know that you haven’t spoken to her father yet. Then explain that you got sick, followed by the busyness of work after taking time off. Apologize for the delay, and offer to schedule a time to talk to her father in the near future. Be sure to be realistic when you offer a time to talk so that you don’t run the risk of missing a meeting that you schedule now.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I thought the pandemic was over, and maybe it is, but COVID-19 is still around. My mother, who lives in an assisted living facility, just came down with it for the second time. So far she doesn’t have bad symptoms, but I’m scared to my core. The last time she had COVID-19 was in 2020, way before the vaccine. She got so sick, we thought she was going to die. It took several months for us to be allowed to see her again. This feels like deja vu. The facility won’t allow us to visit her for at least 10 days. She is bewildered, not understanding what is going on. I know she is worried. Our family is, too. I don’t know what to do. — Deja Vu
DEAR DEJA VU: Talk to your mother’s doctor to learn what is recommended for her care. Then talk to her facility daily to make sure they are providing the proper care. Ask specific questions so that you can get clear answers. Do your best not to yell at them. The more hospitable you are, the better chance you have for them to treat her well. Send your mother food to help supplement whatever they are serving.
If you have a smartphone or other video device and the facility has one as well (like a cellphone or tablet), contact her daily via video chat. This will allow you to see each other. It can help your mother to feel less isolated and give you the chance to see firsthand how she is doing. The more you can engage her, the more connected you all will feel.
