Woman doesn’t offer to cover friend’s meal
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DEAR HARRIETTE: A few days ago, I went out with a friend for dinner. As I was about to pay, I realized that I had left my wallet at home. Not to worry, I thought. I had my phone, and I knew that the venue accepted Apple Pay. So I attempted to use it, only to find out that it wasn’t working. It was embarrassing, to say the least. To add insult to injury, my friend didn’t offer to pay for me. I found this to be a bit odd because I had recently hosted her at my house for the weekend. I had cooked her meals, offered her my guest room and driven her around town. It didn’t seem fair that she couldn’t even offer to cover my meal. I must admit that my feelings are a bit hurt. So, what should I do? Do I confront my friend about this? Do I let it go and move on? I ended up having to promise to call in my credit card number as soon as I got home. It was awkward, to say the least. — Hurt and Confused
DEAR HURT AND CONFUSED: I’m wondering why you didn’t directly ask her to cover you, at least until you got home? You are spending a lot of time stewing over what she didn’t do to support you in the moment and getting mad because of all you did for her in the recent past, but you could have been much more proactive.
I’ve learned never to count somebody else’s money. Your friend may not have had the funds to cover you. That could be why she didn’t offer. She could have been oblivious, which is hard to believe, but that can happen. Rather than being mad at her, check yourself. You have to learn to speak up for yourself more. If you need to be rescued, don’t wait. Ask for help. And, of course, check your wallet before you head out.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends have been planning a getaway trip for months now. They have included me in the plans, but the problem is that the plans have changed at least four times. First we were going abroad. Then across the country. Now it’s unclear, but the trip is supposed to happen soon. Since there are no set dates, I can’t request time off of work yet. My friends are still in school, so they have the summer off. How can I get them to commit to a plan so that I can go with them whenever it is solidified? — Girls Trip
DEAR GIRLS TRIP: Chances are, you aren’t the only one who is frustrated. Call a meeting with everyone and ask for updates. Where does the group think it is going now, and when, and what is the cost? Remind them that flights often increase in price the closer to the travel date that you get. Tell them clearly that you will not be able to go unless you have enough advance notice so you can request time off work. Press them to make a decision now that you all can agree on, and make sure they are all booking at the same time. If and when you do buy an airline ticket, buy a refundable ticket, just to be safe.
