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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a condition where I tend to pass out frequently, and standing for long periods of time is a known trigger for me. I just received an exciting job opportunity that would require me to be on my feet all day.
As you can imagine, this has me feeling incredibly nervous, and I am unsure whether I should take the job. On one hand, I am thrilled at the prospect of this new opportunity and the challenges it will bring. On the other hand, I am worried about how my condition will affect my ability to perform my duties effectively.
How can I prepare myself to manage my condition while working in an environment where I will be on my feet for extended periods of time? Perhaps more important, should I take the job or pass on it in favor of something that would be less physically demanding? — New Job
DEAR NEW JOB: A thorough job application should ask you if you have the capability to handle the tasks of that job. Often, these applications will mention how many hours you are expected to stand or the weight you are expected to lift (up to a particular amount) as well as other such things. Did this job ask that? It sounds like you already know that this job may extend beyond your physical capacity.
Rather than go in there and risk your health, talk to your future supervisor. Reveal your condition and ask if any accommodation can be made for you. For instance, can you have a chair nearby if you need to sit down? Work it out in advance, or you will be setting yourself up for failure.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My freshman year of college, I made a friend group of seven girls because it was what I thought I wanted. Not far into the friendship, there were big issues I was facing in the group. The majority of the girls would be late when we tried to plan outings together, but they wouldn’t have a good excuse, which made me feel as if they didn’t respect me or my time at all. I also noticed that most of the girls had really bad spending habits, where they would overspend on food and clothes and then expect me or other friends to bail them out when they ran out of money. I talked to them about both the time and the money issues, and it wasn’t well-received. They were upset and said that it was none of my business, and they never ended up changing their timing issues.
Being on time and able to manage money properly are two huge values I hold close to me. I left the friend group partly due to these issues. Do you think I handled the situation well, or should I not have said anything? — Cut Ties
DEAR CUT TIES: When you select and cultivate friendships, you should look for people who share your values. That does not mean that they have to like and do everything that appeals to you. It means that the core beliefs that guide your life should be in sync with them. Otherwise, you run into situations like what you experienced.
You handled it correctly. After addressing your friends about their bad habits repeatedly to no avail, you had two choices: Stay and accept it, or leave. You made the right choice for you.