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Dear Harriette

Aunt’s grief manifests as anger

DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt has been grieving the loss of my uncle (her husband), but she has been taking out her anger on the rest of the family. She doesn’t really answer any of our calls these days, and when she does, she’s very short-tempered on the phone. What is the best way to deal…

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Husband beleives appliances make good gifts

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband often buys new items for the household (appliances that will benefit everyone in the house) but presents them as gifts to me. He doesn’t understand that buying a new washer and dryer is not a gift for me if we will both benefit from the appliance. How do I get him to…

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Harriette honors our nation’s veterans

DEAR READERS: Happy Veterans Day! To all of you who have served in the United States military, we thank you for your service to our country. Most Americans have someone in their family who has served in the military. For many, it is a badge of honor to do so. Now is the time to…

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Reliable sibling picks up all the slack

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother recently told me that the reason she has always given me so much responsibility in the house is because she does not trust my brother. She said that I am the only one she can rely on. She told me that my reliability makes her life much easier, and if it…

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Mother needs more support to stay sober

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was very proud of my mother for steering clear of alcohol for over 8 1/2 months. Up until recently, she was doing a great job of staying completely sober. She had a bit of a drinking problem before. My mother started drinking again about two weeks ago and hasn’t slowed down since.…

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Sister grows distant after gripe session

DEAR HARRIETTE: I spent time with my sister recently and unloaded on her all about my troubles at home with my husband. She listened for a while, but then I noticed that she wanted to change the subject. I was so upset that I kept going anyway. I needed to get things off my chest.…

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Parent worried marriage won’t survive son leaving

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is applying for college this year and will likely go away to school next fall. I have prepared for this day for years. I know my job as a parent is to get him ready to be an independent adult. He is ready — but I don’t know if I am.…

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Friend always wants to meet in her own neighborhood

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend lives in East Los Angeles, and I live in the Valley. Whenever we hang out, she usually suggests that we do things on her side of town because the Valley “doesn’t have a nightlife scene.” I don’t mind taking the drive every once in a while, but most of the…

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Dear Harriette by Harriette Cole

Husband locks phone after spouse confronts him DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have not been getting along very well for some time now. Recently, I noticed that he changed the password on his cellphone. He has never done this before in the nearly 30 years we have been married. My guess is he did…

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Friend posts unflattering photos on social media

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event the other day — for the first time in nearly two years — and I saw some people I know there. One friend posted pictures from the event on social media. She included several shots of me that simply are not flattering. She caught me in one shot…

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